Our relationship, our life together, has been full of these. Time and again we have taken on new challenges with a vision of a better life, a better world to follow. We have moved many times, each time under that premise, with hope and some degree of confidence. Sometimes with the highest hopes and confidence: Marriage and to our place in Provo to start life together. This was the indisputable right choice, overarching all later adventures, and the fruit it has borne, of togetherness and new life of each individual child is a reality I would never attempt to remake. The births of Jim, Trevor, Mae, and Owen were each a new beginning in its purest sense.
Our move to Chicago for professional graduate school. This compelled us to develop a greater independence and adaptation to living outside the intermountain west. There were strange things about the big city, but in our four years we gained some lifelong friends and an appreciation for the local food and culture. As my schoolmates would attest, the academic program was all-consuming, the lectures interminable, the faculty ruthless, and the full package made me doubt the decision to choose the school and location more than once. This being the case, reaching not just the infinite four-year point, but graduating with my class and new credentials represented the biggest personal clean slate since my mission, and the opening of a whole new act in life. For better or worse, we never quite allowed ourselves to go native in Chicago, which may have hobbled some friendships but made it easy to move out after graduation.
After this I index our new beginnings by location, each lasting one to three years. Each carries a mental mural or splash-page showing its position on a map, family members at differing stages of development, local friends and acquaintances, our houses, yards, the surrounding geography, and major activities, tragedies, miracles, and accomplishments.
1. Rexburg. Excessive trust, hope, work and investment; no return. Naiveté. Good Ol’ Boys. Exodus in horse trailers. Blue-collar doctor.
2. Sandy. Employed by good former Mormon; worked all the malls. Beautiful mountains, no time to hike. Beautiful kids. Amy at Primary Children’s. Beagle. Grandma Nelson. What else is there?
3. St. George. So much desert fun on the cheap! Beautiful vistas at every turn. Amy running the family as a real-life pioneer woman. Dumpster-diving for hardwood with the kids. Red dirt! Heat! Wood! Distancing myself from a shady employer into the arms of Sears and Costco. Marathon initiation. Birth of Owen as the crowning event. Pneumonia hospitalizes Trevor for over a week. Demanding life, but has felt like home throughout. Telephone call: do you want the new Wal-Mart in Logan?
4. Cache Valley. New store, better money. Six-day workweek. Small home in a country town. Beautiful setting. Flies! The best and worst of redneck neighbors. Mae starts school. Trevor excels in school. Jim nose-dives. Wonderful kids are still small, adaptable and non-materialistic. Amy’s ingenuity allows living on a shoestring, paid off Rexburg early…now what? Navy? Air Force!
5. Colorado Springs. Beautiful place I had never thought of. Work in uniform. Customs and courtesies. So many possibilities for our career future. Bishop. Amy champion of spousal support. Great friends for me. Even the worst schools are great. Can I do the Air Force Optometry Residency?
6. San Antonio. 1 year immersed in optometry, ophthalmology, and aviation. Simpson. Collins. The Riverwalk. Fowlks family friendship, that could have been closer if we had stayed. Earned wings with Army. Lousy schools, great produce at the grocery store. No one will take Korea unaccompanied for 12 months? OK, I’ll volunteer before you order me. Oh, you meant Turkey for 15 months? Where will the family go?
7. Rexburg/Turkey. Heat. Perspiration. Solitude. Bicycle. Nuri’s carpets. Red Onion. Dolmuß (crazy bus) to Adana. Wall family. Ordaining Trevor & Jim on mid-tour visit. Living with the family in Rexburg through Skype. "Your Mom goes to college," Amy that is, and comes away with her BSN! Very close to family, Mill Hollow, an idyllic year for the kids. Time finally passes. Would you like Wright-Pat, Langley, or Andrews?
8. Ohio. Joyous reunion. Tall trees. The innocent prelude: we choose to buy the more modest house…background pain begins. Great schools! Great friends for Jim & Trevor! Dry-wall & paint. Guillain-Barré. Long-term recovery. Track. Swimming. Volleyball. Rowing. More swimming. Love/hate work. “Skiing & snow-boarding:” so weak, but so fun! Mae creates stuffed animals. Owen & Tae-Kwon-Doe. Near-perfect summers. Hey, no one is volunteering for Korea!...and you can follow-on to northern Cal.
9. Korea. Too submerged in the difficulties to say much. Very nice people. Modern society. England with Jim! Gas mask & Kevlar. Alone. Housing market. Got orders to Travis!
With some of our moves, where things didn’t seem to be working out as we needed, I told myself: “We don’t need an excuse, we need a plan.” It looks like that will need to be the case for the upcoming transition, as we orchestrate the new beginning of reuniting me with the family, moving from Ohio to California, and getting Jim started at BYU. It’s a huge slate, and it certainly is not blank.
