When all wooing and courtship is carried to completion, engagement and marriage covenants made, feet come to rest on the ground once again. Yesterday’s goals become today’s action, and the motivations for pursuing the relationship come to fruition. There is heightened bond of friendship, love, understanding and mutual support as individual and common goals are pursued. The central purpose of these things take human form when the first child is born, and then is reaffirmed from a new perspective with each child thereafter.
Amusing Anecdotes
As if pregnancy and childbirth were not enough, they turned out to be a mere prologue or preface to the lives that followed.
Aside from the usual adaptation to diaper changes and 2am feedings, one phenomenon we first experienced as new parents involved the special treatment and attention offered by the public at large. With long lines at the airport, or almost anywhere, people often would step aside and ask us to please go ahead, pretty much regardless of the child’s behavior at the time. Searching for a new apartment after one year in Chicago, the landlady whose ad we answered did not want to talk with us because it would leave her property empty for a month before we moved in. She relented, and agreed to at least let us see the place, shown by her brother. Her brother (John Iwasyszyn) was especially impressed by the well-behaved baby this young couple brought, and convinced his sister (Dotty Iwasyszyn) to hold the place for us. Thus, 1424-D North Harlem Avenue in River Forest became our home for the next three years, with Jim, and then Trevor becoming the beloved mascots of our little row of townhouses, with John as our property manager and friend throughout.
Kathy and Jerry Lynch lived across the sidewalk and two doors down from us, both physicians, and became close friends. They loved Jim and Trevor, and always got a kick out of Jim’s exclamations. Once when they had us over for dinner, Jerry had grilled some steaks he had ordered from Nebraska, and some hot dogs for the kids. Jim didn’t complain about the hot dogs, but insisted that what he really liked was the steak, repeatedly asking for more of “Jerry’s chicken.” The same thing happened when visiting Idaho for Christmas, when Grandpa DeMordaunt had ordered a special lamb roast from Harry and David’s; that was the only thing served that Jim had any interest in, and ate up with gusto.
Other salient events from the Chicago years include a stop at the North Avenue beach as a break from shopping downtown, and Jim, without warning, stripped completely and took off toward the water. We overlapped 2 years with Jeff and Bethany in Chicago, after which they moved to Louisville, Kentucky. We visited them twice there, and as we left the second time, we decided to stop at the newly discovered (and not yet nationwide) Krispy Kreme Doughnuts. With the family waiting in the car, I ran in to order a dozen glazed. In line, I turned to see Amy had come in recommending we get a second dozen. I agreed, then asked if she had the keys to the car. No! And sure enough, the car was locked with Jim and Trevor securely in their inescapable car seats. We tried to coax Jim to reach forward and unlock the door, but he didn’t seem to understand, but laughed and emptied a milk-chug out into my jacket in the seat next to him. Meanwhile Trevor became spooked and started crying like crazy. Amy sobbed in similar fashion. We called the police, who came with their slim-jim tool, and couldn’t figure out the Accord’s mechanism. Finally the Krispy Kreme owner produced his own slim-jim and unlocked the car handily. Suddenly, all was fine again.
Trevor’s stories from these years are mostly of being pleasant and agreeable, earning the title of “marshmallow man” because of his bright blond hair, pristine-skinned face, and welcoming smile when I would come home at the end of the day.
Shortly after moving to Idaho (summer 1996), we made an ill-advised trip to Target in Idaho Falls. Parked at a great distance from the store, Jim and Trevor got into a serious fight just as we got to the entrance. After a brief attempt, it was clear there would be no immediate reconciliation, and I would have to get them back to the car while Amy finished in the store. This turn of events transformed the dynamic to me as the mutual enemy of these two enemies to each other. Both were furiously trying to escape my grasp in order to assail the other. As they relentlessly screamed, yelled and struggled, I managed to wrangle both of them at arm’s length, all the way back to the car, unlock it, and strap each of them into their seats. This all had to be done in a way that could not possibly hurt either of them and without regard for the numerous passersby. It is one of my defining parenting accomplishments.
During this same summer, Paul was preparing for his mission. He loved to spend time with Jim and Trevor. Once he took Trevor on a hike in Mill Hollow. As often happens, they encountered a huge darkling beetle on the trail. Paul stopped Trevor to point out the large stinkbug. Trevor contemplated it for a moment, and suddenly stomped on it. His shoes had to be kept outside the rest of the summer while the smell dissipated.
Living a year in Sandy (1998), we often took Sunday afternoon excursions to Grandma Nelson’s home in Bountiful. Thus the kids got to know her some, so that when she died, they had some appreciation of this and attended her funeral. Though not listed as a pall bearer, Jim stepped in at the graveside service and was able to assist in moving her casket into position, with Amy’s cousin, Ben Nelson, graciously assisting Jim). Trevor had just learned to snap that day, and gave some comic relief to Amy’s sisters when he would pause and demonstrate his new skill.
