Christmas Family Memories

Christmas is a favorite time of year! We love snow, gift giving (and receiving), reflecting on the birth and life of Jesus, and vacation from school! I have included a few Christmas memories below:

Our first Christmas we (just Wade and I) spent in Idaho with family-- nice. After driving back to Provo, we ventured on a drive to Mesa, Arizona. Uncle Jimmy's statement that we should "try visiting in July so we could feel some real heat," has become a often quoted line in our family. I was glad to get to know Grandma and Grandpa Bergeson better, and was able to meet Great Grandma Stout. Seeing the places from Wade's favorite childhood vacations was fun and helped me understand his love of the desert and sajuaro cactus'.

Returning to Idaho for Christmas during the Chicago years (3 times?) was always highly anticipated. Flying with kids was quite an adventure. Wade started the tradition of buying himself a desired Christmas present (a CD or a video), wrapping it up, and writing the tag To: Wade,  From:Pat and Nolan (my aunt and uncle!). It's always a hit.

Obviously, the Christmas when Trevor was sick with strep pneumonia with scarlet fever and a lung abscess, is very memorable. We were up from St. George, went to Rexburg ER at 5am Christmas morning and by December 26th, were driving to Primary Children's Hospital in Salt Lake City. There things were steadily changing for the worse and the doctors were considering surgery. But Trevor knew he would get better, and he did with the faith and prayers of  so many family and friends. The support from so many in St. George was touching. Grandma DeMordaunt went down to Salt Lake with me and baby Owen so she could watch him during naps, then would bring him to me to nurse, then back to the Ronald McDonald House again. Owen was such a good baby through all of that and Grandma was a great help. The rest of our family in Idaho helped with the other kids. We made it through and back to Wade in just a couple of weeks. A PICC line and 'round the clock antibiotics later, and we were through with it. Trevor recovered nicely and finished his Kindergarten school year and has been healthy ever since.

Christmas is Mae's (and possibly everyone's) favorite holiday. For her it has to do with lots of presents and just the magic of it all. Snow and sparkles, stars and bells, Santa and stockings, and, of course, Jesus and the ever-symbolic Christmas Tree. My dad's Christmas Tree song is our favorite:

Oh, Christmas Tree,
Oh, Christmas Tree,
You represent eternity.

The bell is joy.
The heart is love.
The dove is peace from God above.

The star reminds us of his birth,
The night Christ came to dwell son earth.
May we remember sacredly,
The meaning of our Chistmas tree.

Our Christmases usually have a few presents, some wrapped (or not!) in unique boxes or containers, which is always interesting. Homemade gifts are my favorites. Mae's stuffed animals, Jim's clock, Trevor's randomness, and Owen's wrapping, make it scpecial. Being together on Christmas is the best. When we aren't together, Skype keeps us connected for the Christmas Eve program and opening presents in the morning. We always have fruit soup and scones. Yum!

New Beginnings: Wade Catalogues Every Transition

Our relationship, our life together, has been full of these.  Time and again we have taken on new challenges with a vision of a better life, a better world to follow.  We have moved many times, each time under that premise, with hope and some degree of confidence.  Sometimes with the highest hopes and confidence:  Marriage and to our place in Provo to start life together.  This was the indisputable right choice, overarching all later adventures, and the fruit it has borne, of togetherness and new life of each individual child is a reality I would never attempt to remake.  The births of Jim, Trevor, Mae, and Owen were each a new beginning in its purest sense. 

Our move to Chicago for professional graduate school.  This compelled us to develop a greater independence and adaptation to living outside the intermountain west.  There were strange things about the big city, but in our four years we gained some lifelong friends and an appreciation for the local food and culture.  As my schoolmates would attest, the academic program was all-consuming, the lectures interminable, the faculty ruthless, and the full package made me doubt the decision to choose the school and location more than once.  This being the case, reaching not just the infinite four-year point, but graduating with my class and new credentials represented the biggest personal clean slate since my mission, and the opening of a whole new act in life.  For better or worse, we never quite allowed ourselves to go native in Chicago, which may have hobbled some friendships but made it easy to move out after graduation. 

After this I index our new beginnings by location, each lasting one to three years.  Each carries a mental mural or splash-page showing its position on a map, family members at differing stages of development, local friends and acquaintances, our houses, yards, the surrounding geography, and major activities, tragedies, miracles, and accomplishments.

1. Rexburg.  Excessive trust, hope, work and investment; no return.  Naiveté.  Good Ol’ Boys.  Exodus in horse trailers.  Blue-collar doctor.

2. Sandy.  Employed by good former Mormon; worked all the malls.  Beautiful mountains, no time to hike.  Beautiful kids.  Amy at Primary Children’s.  Beagle.  Grandma Nelson.  What else is there?

3. St. George.  So much desert fun on the cheap!  Beautiful vistas at every turn.  Amy running the family as a real-life pioneer woman.  Dumpster-diving for hardwood with the kids.  Red dirt!  Heat!  Wood!  Distancing myself from a shady employer into the arms of Sears and Costco.  Marathon initiation.  Birth of Owen as the crowning event.  Pneumonia hospitalizes Trevor for over a week.  Demanding life, but has felt like home throughout.  Telephone call: do you want the new Wal-Mart in Logan?

4.  Cache Valley.  New store, better money.  Six-day workweek.  Small home in a country town.  Beautiful setting.  Flies!  The best and worst of redneck neighbors.  Mae starts school.  Trevor excels in school.  Jim nose-dives.  Wonderful kids are still small, adaptable and non-materialistic.  Amy’s ingenuity allows living on a shoestring, paid off Rexburg early…now what?  Navy?  Air Force!

5.  Colorado Springs.  Beautiful place I had never thought of.  Work in uniform.  Customs and courtesies.  So many possibilities for our career future.  Bishop.  Amy champion of spousal support.  Great friends for me.  Even the worst schools are great.  Can I do the Air Force Optometry Residency?

6.  San Antonio.  1 year immersed in optometry, ophthalmology, and aviation. Simpson. Collins.  The Riverwalk.  Fowlks family friendship, that could have been closer if we had stayed.  Earned wings with Army.  Lousy schools, great produce at the grocery store.  No one will take Korea unaccompanied for 12 months?  OK, I’ll volunteer before you order me.  Oh, you meant Turkey for 15 months?  Where will the family go?

7.  Rexburg/Turkey.  Heat.  Perspiration.  Solitude.  Bicycle.  Nuri’s carpets.  Red Onion.  Dolmuß (crazy bus) to Adana.  Wall family.  Ordaining Trevor & Jim on mid-tour visit.  Living with the family in Rexburg through Skype.  "Your Mom goes to college," Amy that is, and comes away with her BSN!  Very close to family, Mill Hollow, an idyllic year for the kids.  Time finally passes.  Would you like Wright-Pat, Langley, or Andrews?

8.  Ohio.  Joyous reunion.  Tall trees.  The innocent prelude: we choose to buy the more modest house…background pain begins.  Great schools!  Great friends for Jim & Trevor!  Dry-wall & paint.  Guillain-Barré.  Long-term recovery.  Track.  Swimming.  Volleyball.  Rowing.  More swimming.  Love/hate work.  “Skiing & snow-boarding:” so weak, but so fun!  Mae creates stuffed animals.  Owen & Tae-Kwon-Doe.  Near-perfect summers.  Hey, no one is volunteering for Korea!...and you can follow-on to northern Cal.

9.  Korea.  Too submerged in the difficulties to say much.  Very nice people.  Modern society.  England with Jim!  Gas mask & Kevlar.  Alone.  Housing market.  Got orders to Travis!

With some of our moves, where things didn’t seem to be working out as we needed, I told myself: “We don’t need an excuse, we need a plan.”  It looks like that will need to be the case for the upcoming transition, as we orchestrate the new beginning of reuniting me with the family, moving from Ohio to California, and getting Jim started at BYU.  It’s a huge slate, and it certainly is not blank.

Gratitude for Family Unity

It is a blessing to have a family that wants to be together. To have a united purpose, the same values, and the goal of eternal happiness. Life is so hard sometimes and having people to go through it all with is a great plan. There are so many good things in our lives!

I keep thinking of the words to the Hymn, "For the Beauty of the Earth":

For the Beauty of the Earth

“92: For the Beauty of the Earth,” Hymns of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, no. 92
Joyfully

1. For the beauty of the earth,
For the beauty of the skies,
For the love which from our birth
Over and around us lies,

[Chorus]
Lord of all, to thee we raise
This our hymn of grateful praise.

2. For the beauty of each hour
Of the day and of the night,
Hill and vale, and tree and flow’r,
Sun and moon, and stars of light,

3. For the joy of human love,
Brother, sister, parent, child,
Friends on earth, and friends above,
For all gentle thoughts and mild,

Text: Folliott S. Pierpoint, 1835-1917
Music: Conrad Kocher, 1786–1872
Psalm 95:1–6
Psalm 33:1–6
This is a beautiful version of this favorite hymn.


Having my best friend as my husband and the father of my children is my greatest blessing. I am so grateful to have a good man in my life and family. We are all blessed to have each other.

I am thankful for Jim's testimony and sincerity,
Trevor's tenderness and loving care,
Mae's love of God's creations and family,
and Owen's joy in all of life.

What a beautiful, comfortable, warm, and loving life we have together (even when we must be apart!). I know that being an eternal family, with our marriage sealed in heaven, and all of our children sealed to us, is a miracle and a blessing. We can appreciate being healthy, strong and able to work, do good and make a difference in our family and in the world. I am so grateful for the willingness to try, to work, and to be better that we all strive for. Our family mission statement is one of my favorite summaries of what I appreciate about our family.

DeMordaunt Family Philosophy:

Our aim is to support each other and care about each family member’s happiness and eternal salvation.

DeMordaunt Family Mission Statement:

We are a united, committed, hardworking, happy family.

We love and care for the well being of each family member.

We know how to have fun.

We exercise together.

We explore new places together.

We show respect and kindness.

We know how to apologize and how to forgive.

We learn and live the gospel.

We stand for honesty, integrity, personal responsibility,

faith, humility, accountability, trust and the belief that we

can make the world a better place for our being here.

We believe in praying hard, working hard and in having faith.

We care about each other because we want to be an eternal family.

We want our home to be a warm, caring and safe place to be.

We know that in this challenging life, we need to strengthen each other.

“Be strong and of a good courage, neither be thou afraid nor dismayed,

for the Lord thy God is with thee, withersoever thou goest.” –Isaiah 1:9

DeMordaunt Family motto:

Think Sunshine!

Next year's family motto is Pray Always, as we are seeking guidance in all the change coming.

Children of Chicago and the Desert Son

The Foundation


When all wooing and courtship is carried to completion, engagement and marriage covenants made, feet come to rest on the ground once again. Yesterday’s goals become today’s action, and the motivations for pursuing the relationship come to fruition. There is heightened bond of friendship, love, understanding and mutual support as individual and common goals are pursued. The central purpose of these things take human form when the first child is born, and then is reaffirmed from a new perspective with each child thereafter.

Now to move from generalities to specifics. James Price DeMordaunt came into our lives October 16, 1992 and had the luxury of our undivided attention for nearly two years. His sparkling personality in baby and toddler-hood convinced several of our fence-sitting friends to start young families as well. Soon we wanted another child to be a friend to Jim.

Thus were we blessed to have Trevor come into our lives September 22, 1994. He came with an entirely different, warm demeanor, easily entreated, forgiving and quick to learn. With these results, we felt motivated to bring another soul into our family and were blessed again.

This time came Mae Ann, arriving April 16, 1996, one month before we left the cocoon (or frying pan) of school to embark on our next stage of life: working for a living. Mae’s natural charm and affinity to things natural, small, cute and sparkly helped ground our family in the important daily life and family activities as we trudged through difficult times.

As Amy and I made progress in supporting our family and stabilizing our position, we gained confidence to have one more child, and the great soul of Owen Wade was born October 21, 2000 in St. George, Utah. The other kids were old enough to appreciate and welcome a baby brother, and Owen brought a sanguine love for life as well as new friendship to his siblings.


Amusing Anecdotes


As if pregnancy and childbirth were not enough, they turned out to be a mere prologue or preface to the lives that followed.


Aside from the usual adaptation to diaper changes and 2am feedings, one phenomenon we first experienced as new parents involved the special treatment and attention offered by the public at large. With long lines at the airport, or almost anywhere, people often would step aside and ask us to please go ahead, pretty much regardless of the child’s behavior at the time. Searching for a new apartment after one year in Chicago, the landlady whose ad we answered did not want to talk with us because it would leave her property empty for a month before we moved in. She relented, and agreed to at least let us see the place, shown by her brother. Her brother (John Iwasyszyn) was especially impressed by the well-behaved baby this young couple brought, and convinced his sister (Dotty Iwasyszyn) to hold the place for us. Thus, 1424-D North Harlem Avenue in River Forest became our home for the next three years, with Jim, and then Trevor becoming the beloved mascots of our little row of townhouses, with John as our property manager and friend throughout.


Kathy and Jerry Lynch lived across the sidewalk and two doors down from us, both physicians, and became close friends. They loved Jim and Trevor, and always got a kick out of Jim’s exclamations. Once when they had us over for dinner, Jerry had grilled some steaks he had ordered from Nebraska, and some hot dogs for the kids. Jim didn’t complain about the hot dogs, but insisted that what he really liked was the steak, repeatedly asking for more of “Jerry’s chicken.” The same thing happened when visiting Idaho for Christmas, when Grandpa DeMordaunt had ordered a special lamb roast from Harry and David’s; that was the only thing served that Jim had any interest in, and ate up with gusto.


Other salient events from the Chicago years include a stop at the North Avenue beach as a break from shopping downtown, and Jim, without warning, stripped completely and took off toward the water. We overlapped 2 years with Jeff and Bethany in Chicago, after which they moved to Louisville, Kentucky. We visited them twice there, and as we left the second time, we decided to stop at the newly discovered (and not yet nationwide) Krispy Kreme Doughnuts. With the family waiting in the car, I ran in to order a dozen glazed. In line, I turned to see Amy had come in recommending we get a second dozen. I agreed, then asked if she had the keys to the car. No! And sure enough, the car was locked with Jim and Trevor securely in their inescapable car seats. We tried to coax Jim to reach forward and unlock the door, but he didn’t seem to understand, but laughed and emptied a milk-chug out into my jacket in the seat next to him. Meanwhile Trevor became spooked and started crying like crazy. Amy sobbed in similar fashion. We called the police, who came with their slim-jim tool, and couldn’t figure out the Accord’s mechanism. Finally the Krispy Kreme owner produced his own slim-jim and unlocked the car handily. Suddenly, all was fine again.


Trevor’s stories from these years are mostly of being pleasant and agreeable, earning the title of “marshmallow man” because of his bright blond hair, pristine-skinned face, and welcoming smile when I would come home at the end of the day.


Shortly after moving to Idaho (summer 1996), we made an ill-advised trip to Target in Idaho Falls. Parked at a great distance from the store, Jim and Trevor got into a serious fight just as we got to the entrance. After a brief attempt, it was clear there would be no immediate reconciliation, and I would have to get them back to the car while Amy finished in the store. This turn of events transformed the dynamic to me as the mutual enemy of these two enemies to each other. Both were furiously trying to escape my grasp in order to assail the other. As they relentlessly screamed, yelled and struggled, I managed to wrangle both of them at arm’s length, all the way back to the car, unlock it, and strap each of them into their seats. This all had to be done in a way that could not possibly hurt either of them and without regard for the numerous passersby. It is one of my defining parenting accomplishments.


During this same summer, Paul was preparing for his mission. He loved to spend time with Jim and Trevor. Once he took Trevor on a hike in Mill Hollow. As often happens, they encountered a huge darkling beetle on the trail. Paul stopped Trevor to point out the large stinkbug. Trevor contemplated it for a moment, and suddenly stomped on it. His shoes had to be kept outside the rest of the summer while the smell dissipated.


Living a year in Sandy (1998), we often took Sunday afternoon excursions to Grandma Nelson’s home in Bountiful. Thus the kids got to know her some, so that when she died, they had some appreciation of this and attended her funeral. Though not listed as a pall bearer, Jim stepped in at the graveside service and was able to assist in moving her casket into position, with Amy’s cousin, Ben Nelson, graciously assisting Jim). Trevor had just learned to snap that day, and gave some comic relief to Amy’s sisters when he would pause and demonstrate his new skill.

The Children of Our Lives, Mom's view

To write about our children in completeness would require a life-length, blow-by-blow, day-to-day account of our lives since Jimmy was born. Since this is obviously not possible, I will gladly try to provide a highlights-only version. I don't have the perfect formula for writing this, but will try to tell similar information about each of the kids and the changes that impacted our lives when each of them joined our family. Wade and I are so blessed to have each other and we are equally fortunate to have been blessed with Jim, Trevor, Mae, and Owen.

There was a busy, fun first year of marriage (1991-92) for us in Provo, Utah. I was glowing and expanding, expecting our first child, when we went on a lovely trip to Spain and England with Wade's parents and Ann and Paul during June. We blew over to the windy city of Chicago in July, prior to the beginning of Optometry school for Wade. We settled in, saw some of the sites and finally as it started getting chilly in mid-October (a day past his due date, and the day after we bought a new toaster-oven!), little James Price was born. What a handsome baby with angel-fine white wisps of hair! From the first week home, James was known as little Jimmy, slept extremely well for a newborn, and became the most interesting thing. Everything he did was so new and exciting to us. We took a bazillion photos and tried for hours to get video of him turning over.

I decided to get a part-time nursing job, so teen-aged Aunt Heather flew on over to babysit while I completed the full-time orientation. Lucky little Jimmy! As far as we know he was good natured as ever for Aunt Heather. Soon I was working on Saturday evenings every weekend, while Dad took over for a few hours. It was a pretty good balance for awhile.

Now that us two were three, going anywhere could be complicated by last minute spit-ups or diaper blow-outs. We learned to leave early, carry wet wipes everywhere, and to have extra clothes on hand. Eating out with a baby wasn't too hard, so we continued to go downtown occasionally and enjoy a meal while feeding the baby a bottle. Little did we know that those days were soon to be over. Little Jimmy grew into Energy Boy, a toddler we could not have even imagined before. He was sparkly and dynamic and drew smiles and attention everywhere we went.


Energy Boy has grown into an amazing teenager who is sincere, loving, and willing to do so many good things. We are proud of the dedicated seminary and school student he is and love watching him row on the Greater Dayton Rowing Club team. We have had challenges all along the way, especially needing good doctors, interventions and help at school, and years when it was all too difficult to make and keep friends. His persistent interest in Star Wars is fun for all of us. Jim changed our family for the better and continues to contribute to the excitement and energy in the family.

Luckily for Trevor, we had a little practice as parents when he came along (1994), and did not need to video for hours waiting for him to turn over and other various things that we just did more easily the second time around. Trevor was mr. mellow marshmallow man! With his blondish-tan smooth hair and sweet smile, he won our hearts, even though we had no idea what to name him until after he was born (even then we got it slightly wrong and had to change his middle name from Alan to Alvin (like Grandpa Bergeson) later on. We had no idea we could love another child so much until he came to our family. He was a sleepy baby and a very even-tempered toddler boy. He didn't get to go out to eat with us much as a baby, but had a nicely predictable schedule at home day after day. I kept working as a nurse on Saturdays for almost a year after Trevor was born, then quit so Wade would have all weekend to prepare for Monday quizzes. He was (and is) a very patient brother to Jimmy (who tests all our patience regularly). And he seemed to know how to be careful with baby Mae almost from the start. He loves kids and plays so well with them. We think he'll make an amazing Dad when the time comes (in a dozen years or so!).

Marshmallow Man famously spewed projectile spit-up minutes after the arrival of Grandparents Price and Aunts Heather, Mary and Jane, when they came through on a visit to Chicago. But this is not what he is most famous for. He really is one with the animals and has always been able to catch mini frogs and little lizards and such. He wore glasses for awhile when we lived in St. George. Then scared us all when he had strep pneumonia and a lung abscess (kindergarten year). He was such a good little patient, and miraculously healed up so nicely. Amazingly, he can read super fast, and for awhile read everything in sight! His Kindergarten teacher had reading time in the tree house, with Trevor as the reader, while she worked with some of the other students. Many of his teachers and relatives have predicted a bright future for this bright young soul. His successes already are many: he is a fabulously smart student, incredible swimmer, super scout, voracious volleyball player, and knows how to be a great brother and son. He is still learning and tries so hard in every way. We love him and appreciate his many talents and good heart (and his generous offer to support us lavishly when he hits the big time and is totally rich!).

Little lovey Mae. Born in April (1996). A little early, but just right, actually. She was, and is, our only sweet little girl. We felt so inspired to have another baby before leaving Chicago, but it was so scary to have 3 little ones so close together! Now we can see what a blessing it was, since the following several years were precarious at best and we probably could not have had our little Mae, had we waited. She was born, petite and healthy, just weeks before Wade graduated from ICO and we moved to Idaho. She ended up spending her first year and a half of life at Grandpa and Grandma DeMordaunt's home, where we all lived during that time and where she still loves to visit. She was quietly willing to take her development slowly, crawling and walking later into her first year than any of her brothers. Her tentative approach to life prompted us to keep her close to home until she finally had to start kindergarten. The years we lived in Sandy and St. George, I worked part time and Mae went to a babysitter's occasionally, and she did very well. She always played so well independently and enjoyed watching Disney movies, that I think she was a babysitter's dream child to tend.

She has always had a love of nature (minus insects) and animals (especially soft, gentle ones). Her first word was "Greyloch!" called outside to our dog, running in the yard. I think her dreams used to involve her tumbling in the meadow with tiny kittens or puppies. Stories about animals are her favorites still. When she finally read the Harry Potter books and loved them, I knew she would be a well-rounded soul. She has always been extremely independent, artistic, and creative. Practically the opposite of me! Her talents include sewing stuffed animals (designing the patterns herself!), playing extremely well with Owen, soothing the troubled hearts and tingling hands at home, drawing, and being the most like Wade in wit. Her sense of humor really is intriguing and brings smiles and laughter, even if we have to think a second.

Mae is a beautiful young lady who works (reluctantly!), plays (like there's no tomorrow), and is committed to good things. Seminary, Personal Progress, and school are not really set up in a way that is easy for her to enjoy, but she faces all of them with good humor and a willingness to try that is truly admirable for someone with her personality. Loving Mae comes easily and she has provided a balance to our family that no one else could.

On to Owen! He's everyone's little brother! That kid. He really is something. Born 4 1/2 years after Mae (2000) really makes him the baby of the family, but as stubborn and capable as he is, we never really think of him that way. When he was 8 years old and I was leaving to go to his Cub Scout troop meeting he stated, "I have come of age and can stay home by myself, Mom!" He is often adamant about things being a certain way, but often comes around to cooperate very nicely and make things work. He is dedicated to working for pay, playing long and hard in our large backyard, and eating all the food groups only when a treat is waiting.

Little "O" was born in St. George, lived in Newton for a couple of years, then we began the Air Force adventure and he has moved with us to Colorado, San Antonio, Rexburg, and now Ohio. He has only attended 2 schools so far, (including Lincoln Elementary School where Dad and Mom met!) and is a great student. He works hard in school, is very bright, and completes most of his work in school, leaving time each day to still play and be a kid. He tends to be anxious and easily overwhelmed, but with friendship and love at home, excellent tutelage at school, and help from a great doctor, Dr/Col/Bshp Z, he is thriving.

His interests are fun and wild. He likes Pokemon, Harry Potter, all things animated, Warrior Cats, and Beanie Babies. He reads fast, likes to draw, and is going to try out Tae Kwan Do. He can play kickball or wrestle with Trevor. His main request when we have to move from Ohio is that we find a house to live in with a big backyard. He loves playing outside, his energy emanating from him like a small sun. He is our youngest, and a very bright son indeed.

So there you have it. My gratitude for and summary of each of our wonderful children. We are so glad to have each one of you in our lives, in our eternal family. Carry on, kids.

The Scholastic Pursuit of Amy

With 3 months post-mission to get my feet back on the ground, I was ready again to descend on Provo and resume my studies at BYU.  I was full of anticipation, my mind racing with all sorts of possibilities.  While more mature and experienced than ever, I was still a blank slate.  On high alert for finding and building female relationships, I kept an open mind, but deep inside, priority one was to find one Amy Price.  I moved into the Glenwood, as decided over two years prior.  I knew from Amy’s own words that she should be in “The Riv” (Riviera), which, conveniently, was the inevitable passage to campus.  Every walk to and from class had my head on a swivel: all points bulletined for a full head of golden blonde hair attached to Amy’s athletic form. 

I went with top friend Shawn Nissen to the Opening Fireside in the Marriott Center, ended up seated next to a reasonably attractive and engaging girl.  In true return-missionary fashion, Shawn and I shifted to Chinese, conferred, and agreed on these suitable characteristics.  I got her name for future reference, but didn’t let this distract me from the real purpose here: to find Amy.  Scanning the entire crowd of some 18,000 students confirmed she was not in attendance.  This matter was not forgotten, but placed on the backburner as the exigencies of the academic year heated up.

Perhaps two weeks into the semester, I ran into childhood friend Beverly Malstrom while crossing the Riv.  Dropping a casual inquiry on Amy’s whereabouts, Bev broke the news that Amy had stayed at Ricks College to become a nurse!  What?!  Was this a fell swoop just to avoid me?  Maybe so, but she couldn’t get off that easily; I had to know.  Minutes later, I had Amy on the phone, not confrontationally, but just an incidental call:  “Hey, how ya doin’?  You know I just happen to be coming to Rexburg this weekend” if you say yes, “you want to go do something…?”  And just to hedge my bets, or give the appearance (to whom?) of being in demand, I asked someone else out for the night before.  Naturally, date #1 was a dud, so all eggs were consolidated to Saturday with Amy.  Amy had a way of dazzling me effortlessly, an effect compounded by her being oblivious to this fact.  So I tried to arrange a trip north to include a date with Amy about once a month, enough to keep her awareness but not drive her away.

These efforts transpired against all hope.  The end-vision to this relationship was so distant that I had to keep a purely platonic, just friends ambience.  I sensed disastrous finality in outpacing any signals coming from Amy, and all indications from her were accepting, but short of romantic.  The tightrope I walked was to make it appear entirely logical to get together and not let my innocent but lofty intentions appear out of line with Amy’s.  This was not an easy role to assume.  Every date would leave me despairing for the lack of progress made, the feeling that she wouldn’t notice if she never heard from me again, and the sensible side of me saying it was time to let her go and move on. 

Three events pulled me back into pursuit.  First, leaving campus after a Fall Saturday morning study session, there was Amy, like an angel walking through the Wilkinson Center parking lot.  I hurriedly re-parked and tracked her to the bowling alley, where I just happened to bump into her and get at least a few minutes’ face time.  Later, again resolved to change course, I was skiing with my cousin Lorin at Targhee, and whom do I encounter directly in front of me in lift line?  Amy practically never skis!  I called her that night to ask her just to dinner, and what a great time!  When I returned home that evening, Ann asked me enthusiastically about it, and as we talked, who should call, but…Amy!  Her message: don’t feel like you have to call me every time you come to Rexburg.  Ann said, “Oh, I’m sorry Wade.”  I returned to BYU to immerse myself in pre-med.  I met a classy girl in trigonometry, who actually liked me (the first one ever at BYU!), sort of a Mormon Molly Ringwald type.  Third, late January, Al Case came with me to Idaho for a weekend, and naturally I couldn’t resist a Sunday night stop in Sugar City, with Al and Paul as buffers.  Amy and family were very welcoming, gave us fresh brownies, and as we left, Al exclaimed to me that Amy would be glad to have my children.  Thanks for that perspective, Al, now back to Provo. 

The semester wore on, culminating in Eric Mulkay’s return from his mission.  As part of his welcome packet, I approached Amy with the idea of a double-date, and could she set Eric up with someone?  Somehow, this outing was the tipping point.  In our picnic at Mesa Falls, for some reason, I felt that I could confidently share with Amy the solitary can of precious apple soda that Eric had brought me from Taiwan.  Then, at my parents’ house, as we watched Star Trek V with a large group of friends, Amy used her nurse skills to give me a hand massage.  Holy cow.  Though I wouldn’t advise others to hang on as tenaciously to an unlikely prospect, I had finally hit paydirt…on two fronts.  I had my first ever opportunity to break off one relationship in favor of another.  It would have been an easier decision if one of them were somehow dysfunctional.

Thus, May through August 1990 became the summer of love.  Amy did a nursing internship at LDS Hospital, staying with her Grandparents Nelson in Bountiful.  Every week was a blur of getting through classes and mouse research, then racing northward for some kind of date in what was then a very accessible Salt Lake City.  Amy accepted my marriage proposal the day before her departure for a semester abroad with the Ricks College Nursing program at the BYU Jerusalem Center.  We held on for each other through that school year, getting married the following June just after Amy’s graduation.  

And that, my friend, is what a university education is all about.

The phases of our learning...

School Memories

I only have the fuzziest of memories before I was 12. Wade will likely have fun tales to tell of our overlapping elementary school days in Mrs. Ashliman's and Mrs. Hammond's classes at L-I-N-C-O-L-N, Lincoln is our school (that was the refrain from our school song, that I vaguely recall). My school memories involving Wade include a few glimpses of him in high school, a few more in college, and our partnership days being married at BYU and ICO.

High School
Madison High was the big red school from Rexburg that constantly beat Sugar-Salem in almost everything. I saw Wade once when I was at their school for a track meet. I think I was wearing shiny royal blue tights. That was surely memorable. Then I remember Wade being an associate justice of the Idaho Supreme Court at Youth Legislature our senior year. I thought he would just joke about everything, but it seems like he did a good job. He was in the famed Madison Boys Drill Team (what was that called?) so I would have seen him in that, but did not realize I was watching my future spouse.

College
Summer ward. Ricks College. Kirkham Auditorium. Random (were they random?) encounters on campus. We talked about Wade's math class, me giving tours, devotionals, mutual friends, and Wade's beginning running program for Fitness for Life class that he was working on with Ann. One thing we did not discuss was me not returning to BYU in the fall. It was a last minute decision in August, and it was a little embarrassing for me that I was going back to a junior college, and I really did not think that I would see or date Wade after school started, so I just didn't mention it (how rude!).

But time and again he came home to Rexburg to visit and asked me out on enjoyable dates. One time I had been on a completely lousy date the night before my date with Wade, and was in a quiet, moody mood. I was teaching Relief Society the following day in church and was frustrated from the previous night's interactions. Wade was mellow and fun, lighthearted and kind. By the end of the evening I was calm and in much happier spirits. That was the first of many fun dates that year. Wade won my heart during those college years by being consistent and thoughtful. One night he just dropped by with Al, a friend from BYU and his little brother Paul. We ate yummy triple chocolate cake and I started thinking of Wade more often. Paul was a likable character and Wade brought him along on many of our dates. Seeing him intermittently while he was at BYU was good and got better and better.

By this time I was in the nursing program at Ricks and Wade was in Pre-optometry/Psychology at BYU. Once when visiting BYU with my dad and sister, Carol, we were bowling and I ran into Wade. He has more details on this chance meeting. If he doesn't share that, then I'll add it later.

Over time we grew closer as friends. Finally, I was spending the summer between years of nursing school at LDS hospital in Salt Lake City, as a nurses aide. Wade was doing summer school at BYU. This was the summer I fell in love with Wade. He courted me with roses from the yard at the house he lived and we hiked, attended plays and movies, explored Provo, Salt Lake and surrounding Utah towns. It's a good thing I acknowledged my feelings and had prayed about loving Wade, since at the end of the summer (1990) he asked me to marry him. The subsequent semester with me in Greece, Turkey, and Israel was long. And I missed Wade. We wrote to each other, got to talk on the phone a couple of times, and got good at being apart (turns out that was good practice!).

After returning home from Israel, I stayed with my sister, Carol at her apartment at BYU for a few days before returning home. I was able to attend some classes with Wade, the most memorable of which was his Anatomy class with Dr. Van DeGraaff, the man who wrote the anatomy textbook. Wade was an engaged and hard working student at BYU. It was fun to see him in his element there.

The first year of marriage at BYU was THE BEST! Wade and I loved our newlywed years of marriage, and Provo was an ideal place for a young couple such as us to study, work and live the BYU-Cougar dream.

Graduate School
We moved to Chicago for Optometry School. Being the part-time working nurse spouse to a full-time doctor student was crazy hard sometimes, since we had little Jimmy and I was a full-time mom, too. I helped Wade study for harder classes like bio-chemistry. Amazing that I could quiz him on stuff I don't even know. Anyway, we had 2 more babies and with lots of blessings and hard work from Wade, he graduated with flying colors in 1996.

Your Mom Goes to College
The next school experience we had was when Wade went to Turkey in 2006, ten years later. I went back to school to get a bachelor's degree in nursing in Rexburg and BYU-Idaho (the former Ricks College). Thanks to internet technology I was able send papers to Wade for editing and suggestions. It was a HUGE help. Half of my classes were online, too, so I lived on the computer that year between Skyping Wade and doing classes. Going to school kept me busy and made the time go by quickly. Now we both do continuing education for our medical fields and Wade periodically does professional military education and similar training for the Air Force.

A family that learns together, knows more stuff!